Wednesday 24 May 2017

Typical oldschool blog post about life, death, universe and the meaning of burrito

Everytime someone wants to talk to me about the meaning of life, death, god or something about the understanding of the universe in general I feel really tired.

We've all been there, we questioned stuff, we wondered, we had our theories, our brain produced some illusions like people seeing stuff that most probably wasn't there. Can science prove that God doesn't exist? No. Does it mean that the God exists? Also no. Can science prove that holy books were wrong in many aspects? Yes. Can we prove everything with science? Most probably not. There will always be stuff like Eridanus Supervoid, that we not only don't know what's it's purpose in the universe, but also what exactly is that stuff and how the stuff we know would react to it.

I spent too much time looking for some answers, to the point where I got angry. Angry that I spent so much time getting no answers, angry that I was too stupid to understand that I can spend a lifetime and not get any answers. I chose Apatheism as the only logical choice when it comes to faith, and decided to focus on doing something more valuable in my life than wondering about life greatest mysteries.

Some trippy, random thoughts I have after a bit of my research, basically my favourite wonders and stuff that keeps me up at night:

- we have no idea why we sleep. What is the purpose of our conscious control turning off. I'd say it's for the body and stamina to regenerate, since our brain is still active, probably in a different 'mode', sending us dreams and other visuals to keep us busy until we wake up. All we know for sure is that if we try not to sleep we eventually die. And I believe something like this  happens when we die- shit just turns off completely and we don't wake up. Grasping that concept is also fucking scary- You perceive nothing, feel nothing, remember nothing and basically every aspect of You id, ego, superego is nothing. From a programming point of view is like filling all the column in Your table with null values and then deleting the table itself.

- the fact that our eyes see shit in 2 dimensions and our brains construct that image into a 3d one. This for me was always extremely scary, because brains can be damaged and then we have no idea at what are we looking at. Try to imagine the visuals you might have when that part of our brains get broken. Blind spots in your eyesight are also scary, since our brains fill the lost information with something that can be bullshit

- if something is extremely distant then we don't see it as a 3d object. Just look at the moon sometimes. Moon is also a good example that we have no idea what are we looking at, since when it appears in our vision larger when it's position is low on the horizon we're seeing. It was a serious mindfuck for a teenage me when I learned that the moon being "bigger" on the sky doesn't mean it's closer.

- if we think about it a little bit we are all the jelly stuck in our skulls. All we remember, know, understand is stuck there in our brain. Brain, that can be damaged. It's not just the part of our bodies being damaged, like a broken arm, it's us personally. And it's fucking scary. It's scary that we just cannot put ourselves in the place of someone who has a Retrograde or Anterograde Amnesia. Their brains simply lose the ability to store neural information- it's sad and scary as fuck. When I grow very old I can be stuck on a wheelchair for what I care, but when these serious parts of my brain are damaged then just kill me, my existence will be shit at that point anyway.

- I'm thankful as fuck that negative mass is so far a purely theoretical concept, I think I would go insane if at one point it started to make "sense" in my brain

- even though we are all jelly, there is no way to know someone else's thoughts. Even the weird-ass shit books I read about misticism are only focused about predicting someone's bahavior, not understanding on the deeper level what the other person is thinking. Based on our experience and social interactions with that person we might predict some behaviors, but when we get to the core there is basically no way to know what that person would do in our place. They have their own view on morality, truth, fairness and so on. This is why "tell me what You think about is" is such an important question when someone asks you that, you just can't answer "isnt that obvious?".

And to end this post on something trippy, but not written by me (if we consider time the fourth dimension):

"If you could see yourself in the fourth dimension, you'd look like a huge worm made of every single version of yourself from every moment across your entire life. There would be your embryo at one end and your deceased self at the other. And all of this is without getting into the idea of branching pathways."

This post wasn't inspired by Expanding Brain Meme, but since it's an awesome meme I'll share one of my favourites: