Ok, for the last time, I know that the subject is not music related, but let's talk about Brolly Super Saiyan transformation, or how I like to write it (with an error, I guess) Super Sayajin.
Once I cared what was official info and what wasn't, but that's no longer the case. My Super Sayajin transformation multiplies power 5 times, not 50. A few arguments behind it:
- they fight too damn many times in their base form. The movies are absurd in that matter, but they are non cannon. Beginning of a fight with Brolly 1st time? Base forms. Base Gohan vs SSj Brolly in the second movie, even though Gohan was weaker than in the first movie? Battling Android 13,14,15 in base forms for a long time? If SSj2 Vegeta was not able to land a decent hit on Kid Buu then how can he survive any punch when in base form? Super Sayajin 2 is oficially 100* stronger than base, so Vegeta should be fucked with one punch.
- even if he trains with Goku for 3 years then how the hell can Piccolo fight Android 20? He was around 1,3 mln when on Namek, and now what, 100 mln after 3 years?
- not only Piccolo, every human is fucked in this scenario, in addition to being generally fucked. Tien fighting Semi-perfect Cell is a prime example. In my list Tien is at ~3mln, Cell at ~70 mln and yet Tien can stall him for a while. And the official guides want to tell me that Tien was way below 3mln and Cell was around 700 mln? Yeah, sure.
Oh, and while we are at it- while I can agree that Super Sayajin 2 doubles the power of a Super Sayajin (*1,64 in my list) I won't agree that Super Sayajin 3 is 4 times stronger than SSj2. This the biggest bullshit in the whole official info. If it was so powerful then how come Vegeta never tried to achieve it? How was it possible that in Battle of Gods he was for a while stronger than Super Sayajin 3 Goku?
I have the answers that are more logical than any official info: Super Sayajin 3 wasn't that strong, was flawed and Vegeta just decided to master the previous transformation, so he could power up to some extreme levels, especially when emotions came in.
And don't get me started about Super Buu being like 5 times stronger than Majin Buu and Ultimate Gohan being able to transform further to Super Sayajin. Grand Kai told him to rise his power to a Super Sayajin while in Ultimate base state in the manga so now don't make up stupid bullshit like that
Yes, I love this picture and I will keep reuploading it
I've always wanted to review albums of this band, yet being so serious and important in my life I always had troubles making funny, lighthearted reviews of it. Including my cheap, sexual jokes seemed unproper for a band like Stratovarius. But years fly and I decided finally to show some support towards one of the best bands I know.
We all know Stratovarius won't let anyone down with this album, so no suspense here. But can Rhodi write a decent and maybe funny review of it? Let's find out!
Album starts with My Eternal Dream, typical Strato "Let's start with a bang" song. Impossible keyboard solos from the start open for a serious, fast paced song with lyrics so good I started laughing at classics such as Eagleheart, Hunting High and Low and others. Some people may bitch that Stratovarius and Cain's Offering are now basically the same, but is that a bad thing to have such as good writer as Jani behind it?
After the chorus most Stratovarius fans are already creaming themselves, and I doubt any power metal hater would try to make a comment how gay the genre is. Solos after that make Pathfinder guys look like silly children and Helloween hide in their pumpkins. Everything is so good that the rest of the album will have a great challenge to keep up with this track, as everything is polished to the limits. Rich drum patterns, both solos and riffs on a guitar and keys are just a big fuck you to every fan who would love to try playing the track. Vocals aren't as powerful, but they do their job with some fancy choirs in the back. Song is build perfectly, everything fits and the outro is like a split orgasm after a long, satisfying sex. Let me add that the song has a very fitting music video, weird as it was always the case with Stratovarius, yet makes more sense than all of the rest.
Vocals will Shine in the Dark in the second track, which I reviewed before. I can only add that I take vocal lessons for 2 months now, yet I'm still unable to do the high part of this song, Kotipelto you wonderful asshole :/
So, let's dive into something new in Rise Above It. The intro screams Galneryus, and it's a funny thought to think how Galneryus was admiring Strato for years and now Stratovarius would do the same towards Galneryus :) But that's probably only a coincedence. Track is similar to Stand My Ground from Nemesis, but has a very progressive turn in the middle, before crazy solos. And fuck me it sounds like Galneryus, which is never a bad thing- combine technical playing style of Galneryus and mix it with good lyrics and you have a perfect band.
Lost Without A Trace starts with somewhat Infinite/Elements touch. Kotipelto sounds so sad I wanna give him a hug and ice cream. Written by Lauri Porra, the only guy I didn't hear well so far, but thats mostly because of my shitty headphones and bad bass chearing. Clearly heard here, and I was assured I won't be disappointed by one of my favourite bass players. Solo really tries to match Milion Light Years, but sadly not close, fat fuck Tolkki had some impressive solos back in the day.
Feeding the Fire is something new, starts fast, slows down with some fancy bass lines in the background and dives through so many changes it's hard to keep up. It's a mess like Pathfinder's Chronokinesis, a song that tries a lot of different ideas but not all executed without flaws- Jack of all trades, master of none. But with the musicanship behind it it's impossible to say that the track is bad, might grow on you, especially with that powerful outro. Personally only the chorus start hurts my eyes: The fire that will rise The die is cast Open your eyes, here the dreams burn And light up the skies
I would write something like
That fire will outlast My body and my mind Free your soul from past and fly Just leave it all behind
So a bit lazily written if a dumb shit like me can do better :P
In My Line Of Work with a gentle start is a first disappointment on the album. Mediocre song with simple lyrics, while it doesn't damage the album I think it would do better without it.
Man In The Mirror fixes it in a second, with weird intro that sounds like it was coming from a different dimension. Many interesting ideas here, the only thing I dislike is the way Kotipelto sings, but that might just be jealousy. Lyrics are good, catchy and weird. Outro is a bit streched but it's so catchy and headbang-worthy then I let it pass and enjoy the ride.
Few Are Those is that cheerful catchy song with a bit cheesy elements. Again as with In My Line Of Work I have the problem with a bit too simple lyrics even though it's catchy. Repeating of the chorus like 3 times before the end doesn't help. Maybe it's the Whispered curse that now I expect amazing lyrics all the time?
Fire in Your Eyes is a ballad which again- bores me with repetition of the lyrics. What happened, Stratovarius? The beginning of the album was perfect, but the second half of the album is actually pretty lazy and unimpressive.
The Lost Saga hopefully fixes that with near 12 minute running time. Quite adventurous and epic song that tells the story with rather simple yet catchy rhymes, but sung in a way it doesn't distract. Risky experimental track overall but it works- that was the Stratovarius I was waiting since Man In The Mirror and Shine in The Dark. It isn't enough to make it the best power metal album of 2015 but helps after 2 previous tracks.
I have a very mixed feelings about this album, and it might take a while to connect the thoughts into one logical chain. This album is a mess, just like the previous one, but not in a good was (as Nemesis was). Nemesis was a bit experimental and progressive, but had so many different styles and ideas mixed it was sure to make many people happy with at least parts of it. The album was way more balanced and the songs were better placed.
Eternal is a mix between old and new Stratovarius, and made many old fans happy. But I guess I'm a fan of the new, experimental Strato. I expected a lot from this album and was disappointed, mostly because the incredibly amazing singles. After them there isn't much more on the similar level, maybe Man in the Mirror. It still isn't a bad album, but it bores me with simple lyrics and repetition, even with amazing skills they put into solos and others. Their biggest mistake was the song placement on the album, if they separated the boring songs and put them between those epics then it would be far better. But being amazed by the first good songs and bored in the second half? Cut the running time by 10 minutes and deliver a shorter, more interesting album, or readjust the placement.
Remember me laughing while listening to the first song about poor lyrics back in the day? And praising Jani for lyrics writing? Well, guess the joke's on me..
Additional:
= weak lyrics in a few tracks
= boring repetition on too many tracks
- not diverse enough for that running time
- bad song placement
+ I still love you guys
Final score: 87,5% - better luck next time
If the high score is a surprise remember that repetetive songs and simple lyrics are not something unusual for power metal, but I really had much bigger expectations. You can tell I was bored by it by giving less and less details about the songs as the albums was proceeding.
Before anyone asks- I reviewed My Eternal Dream Track, it had 132% score in my system, highest score I ever had.
I got a nice question recently, about Wacken Open Air festival, let me translate it with way more correct grammar than it was originally
- if You're such a metalhead then why weren't You on Wacken Open Air? Fucking poseur!
Well, the answer is sweet and short- I'm poor and pathetic, I can't afford it and I will go throw all my cds through the window and become a die hard funk fan.
The real reason being of course that the tickets are sold out instantly after they are available. This year I had money for 2 tickets frozen in my budget for WOA 2016, and yet one day after they were out I was unable to buy a ticket.
Why? Did 75,000 of metalheads buy them out instantly? No. There are companies that buy tickets for WOA, and sell them for double the price, triple or more. It's the most famous metal festival on this planet, so there will always be people desperate enough to pay that much. 75,000 people is a huge crowd, but compared to 6+ mln fans of Scorpions alone are just adorable
Same with most things connected to WOA, everything there is expensive to absurd levels.
I might go once to WOA, in like 10 years. But I won't buy any tshirts, any drinks and I will be eating only enough to survive. Those greedy assholes responsible for prices won't suck all my blood.
